On The Bro'd

Every sentence of Jack Kerouac's On The Road,  retold for bros.

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87 - Some Kind of Hollister-Clad Angel

Remi wanted to produce a series of workout videos. Dude was going to make all these connections and like some kind of Hollister-clad angel, make us all rich as fuck; Lee Ann was gonna work on it too; Remi was going to talk to his buddy’s dad, who I guess produced the Insanity workout videos and was also tight with Billy Blanks. So for the first week I stayed in the house in Mill City, working furiously at a raw new workout plan that I thought would be cool to these producers, and the trouble with it was it was just way too extreme. Remi could barely get through the Day One regimen, and so he just handed it off to the producer dude a few weeks later. Lee Ann was too weak and too much of a bitch to bother trying it. I spent countless rainy hours chugging Muscle Milk and working out. Finally I told Remi it was bullshit; I’d rather just have a job; my lactic acid burns were killing me. A shadow of “what the fuck” crossed Remi’s brow—he was always getting all “what the fuck” about the gayest stuff. But dude was all right.

1 year ago 21 notes

Tagged with:  #otb  #part one  #chapter eleven

  1. free-registry-cleaner reblogged this from onthebrod
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  3. jillie-fischer reblogged this from acculturate
  4. acculturate reblogged this from onthebrod and added:
    On the Bro’d = On the Road (every sentence) translated into “bro speak.” Beatniks, bros, what’s the difference anyway….
  5. gotokel reblogged this from onthebrod and added:
    This guy is rewriting On...bro-speak. And its brilliant. Obviously.
  6. onthebrod posted this